It's Been A Long Time

I have got to stop letting so much time go by without blogging. It's been such a long, long winter. Spring doesn't seem to want to stay for more than a day or so, either. I last wrote before Christmas, at the time of the Newton, CT school shooting. Last month there was a bombing near the finish line at the Boston Marathon. These shootings and killings must make sense to the people who plan them and carry them out, but to us non-violent people, they make no sense. I just don't know how you can be a martyr by murdering a defenseless child. I don't want to know how someone can justify that in their own mind. I'm as tired as always...maybe even more than usual. I've been trying to walk more, eat less and make healthier food choices. But I still feel crappy. I don't like anything about the age I'm at (52). So I just get up everyday and go to work and do what I have to do. But I feel lost. Like something is missing. Rich had his hand surgery and now goes to physical therapy twice a week. Time will tell as to how much range of motion he'll get back, if any. But at least his pinky finger isn't bent completely in half anymore. He loves his life of just puttering around the house, not having to do anything of any real importance or that makes a difference in any one's life. I always have the weight of the world on my shoulders and he doesn't seem to have a care in the world. I have to make a real effort to try not to say ANYTHING he disagrees with because I'm not allowed to have an opinion. He has become so argumentative with me that I just try to stay away from him as much as possible. A few weeks ago I got really sick and while I was taking the prescribed Amoxicillin, I became allergic to it! Then I had a Prednisone shot and nine days of Prednisone pills. This made me even more anxious and hormonal than ever before. The fact that I did not kill my husband is a testament to my fortitude and patience. I said above how I am non-violent...but during this time I really felt like I could "Snap." So now as we head towards summer, I'm praying for peace and stability in my home, and everywhere else on Earth!